The Official Salvage Vanguard Theater Blog

Buzz took all of these. Buzz is a mad man. He is constantly taking pictures. Like, you’ll be walking along and Buzz will just have his camera out taking pictures 360 degrees. He takes pictures of dust. He takes pictures of signs that have telephone numbers that look like dining room hours. He. Just. Takes. Pictures. Here’s some from the road. Whoo! Carbondale! Whoo! Glen Ellyn!

All photos are to be credited to the one and only Buzz Moran. Seen here.

Let’s start off with the food, shall we? Overall, the food we ate on the road was, you know, average to above average. My personal favorite meal was in Carbondale when we hit this place called the Chicago Grill. It was decorated in mauves and ‘beige pink’ (according to LB) but the food was just faaaaaaaantastic. After the show we went to this restaurant that had world food and Graham said they had some of the best sweet potatoes he’d had. Wow. But we also had some really shitty food. I think that Waffle House in MO wins the worst food on the trip award. Look at this:

This is the salad that Graham ordered. Look at it! Look at it! It’s all brown and slimy and half frozen. Oh. Jesus. It’s just so horrible to even think about possibly consuming. Boo. Yuck. Gross. Needless to say, Graham did not eat it.

These are the cheesy grits. Basically, they just poked a square of cheese into the center of the grits. Now, I know. It’s Waffle House. It’s not going to be a **** reviewed restaurant. But can you at least make the attempt of mixing the cheese square into the grits, or at the very least putting the cheese square on the side. For some reason, it just being half-assed poked in there makes me feel uncomfortable.

You know what else frightens me? This sign that was posted at the Waffle House:

If you can’t read it, just know that the best part is when it tells the cooks to ‘count there meat.’ Words we can all live by. I’m going to count mine right now.

The hotel we stayed in the first time smelled like cat piss. Especially this hallway. You would walk down it and your eyes would water. Sometimes people would make popcorn in their rooms and that smell would linger in the hall with the cat piss odor. It was difficult not to vomit.

I fulfilled a childhood dream of riding the suitcase merry-go-round. I jumped off before some stranger tried to claim me.

Needless to say, there was no drinking while we were on tour.

None whatsoever.

None.

Not. At. All.

No. There was not a drop taken. Sometimes people play football in the rain in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart completely sober. It happens. I’ve seeeeeen it.

What the hell is that on your head, Shannon?

This picture just frightens me.

And perhaps the most artful picture of the bunch…

LB walks down a long hallway.