How to impress New York producers…it depends.
Published by lee // July 11th, 2006 in Show SchtuffI asked Higgins to write this special guest entry because… well. It must be documented. Straight from the horse’s mouth, as they say — Lee.
First of all let me just say that the level that this artistic team rose to was one that I’ve not seen before. Most people tend to wedge themselves even tighter into their comfort zones when pressured to perform for any type of bigwig. Not this group of Intergalactic Artists! Wow, everyone expanded their performance and braved new avenues of artistic excellence to blow our NYC guests away. The Thursday performance of Intergalactic Nemesis was so fresh and so fun that I could hardly believe the energy that was coursing through my veins. I felt that I was giving the performance of a lifetime while my mates were giving the performance of a century. It seemed that we had silently communicated a plan to go all out for the audience that night. Litlle did I know how “all out” I would actually go. Ben Wilcott was just about to bring down the Zygonian home-world when I felt a tingle, not a good one. “Oh no,” I had not gone to the bathroom at intermission, as was my nightly routine. It was going to be ok, “I’m a trained actor,” I thought, “I’ve got perfect control of my body.” The Zygonians were defeated, the day was ours. As Ben started to disappear, so did my need to “go.” Before I knew it a steady stream of, well, pee was running down my leg. “OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN ABOVE.” I cound not even begin to fathom the depths of horror that were soaring through my mind. Every actor has nightmares of this kind, or something similar. Well folks, it’s just as bad as you have imagined it to be. All I could do was try to control my bladder and maintain my composure. I’m told that I was cool and stayed in the scene, but to be perfectly honest, I have no recollection of the last 3 minutes of that show. After I realized that I had PEED MYSELF ON STAGE, I had so many thoughts, RUN, make a joke about it, hide my face in my hands, RUN, stay in the moment, RUN, RUN, RUN. I suppose that of all the choices the one I stuck with was the idea, however unlikely, that maybe no one noticed and I should just finish the show. So, I did. I can never forget the instant humiliation, degredation, and yes urination that I felt that dreaded evening. I can’t say thank you enough to my fellow cast and crew for their undying support and shared moments of similar, but no where near as terrible embarassment. Apparently all worked out well and the Producers from New York loved the show and were impressed with level of work being done in the Lone Star capital. Again, I am forced to ponder the question, “how do you impress New York Producers?” Easy, Depends, for life’s most uncontrollable and dare I say awkward moments. - by David Higgins, age 26
Oh my good lord. That is the funniest thing I’ve ever read. We once had a guitar player piss himself on stage, but that’s because he was drunk.
I’m so glad I’m not an actor. You rule for finishing the show.
The part where Higgs peed himself is one of the most dramatic in The Intergalactic Nemesis. Ben Wilcott is disappearing…. he’s leaving, he’s gone. And my character is just about to break down. I had tears in my eyes. I had the unforced lip quiver going on. I hear a little gasp in the audience; one woman even whispered out loud “Oh. Oh my God.” I totally thought to myself, “Holy shit. I am nailing this scene.” Then I notice the Higgs is clutching his pants. I thought maybe he’d cut himself on the music stand or something. When we sat back down in our seats, he leans over to me and says, “I just wickedly pissed all over myself.” I felt my face stay completely still. Shock? No. It was because I realized that he had just had one of the most embarrassing moments a person could have. In front of a sold out house. In front of potential Broadway producers. So I just sort of nodded my head to him, whispered, “Hm. Ok.” then turned to Werzner and said, “Make the curtain call fast.” Werz gave a little eyebrow cock… the curtain call music happened and I swear we bowed so quickly that I got a slight case of whiplash. Although Higgins says that we were supportive at that moment, I must confess that I laughed my ass off. Hard. In front of him. Which isn’t cool as a castmate or a friend… so my apologies Higgs. But really— this is a pretty damn funny story that will forever be yours.
I love that your first thought upon hearing an audience member exclaim “Oh my God” is “I’m nailing this scene”. That’s awesome.
David. Dude. I’m so sorry, and so amused. But I have to see that my favorite part is Lee thinking she kicked ass. Did you, like, puddle?
There was a puddle. I do not know who cleaned it up but I do recall hearing Etta saying, “It ain’t my job.” And I’m pretty sure that cleaning up urine is not the Marketing Director’s job. Although I think that I do have the chops to spin it in such a way to make it marketing gold. The Intergalactic Nemesis so good you’ll piss your pants!
I cleaned, I made it I cleaned it… I fix my own mistakes by god…